So sorry to all of my friends on Opera. I have been neglecting my blogging duties. My computer has been unplugged off and on because of the flooring issue and moving things around. BUT….something else has come up.
Besides being busy and thoroughly exhausted from the flooring chores, I have also been packing. Yes…..packing. This just started a few days ago upon returning from Fargo. Yes, I was there again to see my daughter, her husband and my granddaughter. On the plane trip home, I kept thinking, I don't want to keep leaving them.
It is hard for me to believe….but I have made the decision to move to North Dakota. The next few months will be extremely busy for me with meetings, packing, cleaning, throwing out, etc.
With the housing market the way it is in Arizona, I may find it impossible to sell my house, unless I take a big loss. In the next few days, I will be talking to real estate agents, lenders and all the other people with regard to this. I've thought of renting my house but that would be difficult being so far away. I know many people do this, but I don't know if it would be ideal for me.
The problem is that there are four houses for sale on my block alone, two of them right across the street from my house. There are two houses for rent, one of them already rented. The rental is kitty cornered across the street. One of the houses for sale across the street was owned by my dear old neighbors, Emil and Louise, who were both 92. Louise had been in a care facility for a couple of months and finally, Emil decided he no longer wanted to be in the house by himself and moved into the assisted living place with his wife. It was very sad to see them go.
My decision to move is a big one and I am scared. Why….I'm not sure. This will be a huge change for me. I've been in Arizona all of my life….well….since 1950….when my mom and dad moved here and I was 2 and a half. And now, at 61, I'm leaving my beloved state.
I'm a bit of a loner and have only two good friends who I see only twice a year…..if I'm lucky. One of them will be moving to Montreal by year end. The other one lives 200 miles away and, I think, has the beginnings of dementia or something because she rarely answers her phone or returns phone calls. She does not use a computer so that is out of the question. Losing these friends will be a loss because I doubt very much they would come to visit me. The one in Montreal, I'd be able to go see her and her family. My son and his wife live here as do my sister and brother and his wife. So, I do have ties here but the ties to ND have become so much stronger. I cannot stay away.
The winters in North Dakota had so far deterred me from even considering moving there but…..it's not like I'm going to be living in an igloo or anything. I know I can do this. I am going to do this.
I know if I stay here, for whatever reason….loneliness, boredom, anxiety, etc…..I will start smoking again. It was a month on the 8th of June that I quit. Another week has passed and I finally can say I feel better. It took that long to be able to say I actually felt better. BUT I still have very strong cravings. Being here in Arizona, in this heat, in the house alone, doing everything alone, gets tiresome, boring. I don't like it anymore. I need to be around people. I need a slower paced atmosphere, less traffic, less heat. I need a change.
I am ready.
This old photo from 1951 is of me on the new swing set we got for Christmas I think. I was about 3 and a half here. My brother was born a couple of weeks later in early January, 1952. This photo, to me, is a little sad for some reason and is appropriate for how I feel right now. I am surrounded by all that is important to me….all my stuff……but I am alone.