Where’s my mind been? I don’t know.

Have only been on here off and on five minutes at a time so I apologize for being behind in looking at blog posts. I’ve felt a little scatter brained lately and quickly wrote this poem earlier today.

Here in body
but not in mind

all over the place
it’s been
back and forth
to and fro
just going with the flow.

Gettin out
and all around
needed to get outta town
chasin the flim flam man
cuz he got out of bounds.

there’s a place
to plant this furrowed brow
all for one
or one for all
I throw myself
against a wall.

Another brick
another stone
I burrow through
this maze alone
and wonder

what’s it all for?

The easel sits
the paints dry up
and the brushes fall apart.

The room’s been put
all neat as a pin

but where’s my mind been?


Then finished up another poem that was in response to a friend’s poem. 

At home in the studio

colors fly through the air

like a maze in my hair.

I’m crazy they say
crazy as a loon
and the blue moon

The red rose of despair
crashes through my head
the thorns making gashes
of thoughts that I dread.

The blackness of doom
fights its way through
trying its hardest
to fill me with gloom.

but the brushes keep flying
as I talk to myself


I said
to myself that I

would follow
the fireflies
to the forest of dreams.

I’d morph
to a caterpillar
and crawl
slowly along


till finally I arrived
at the tallest tree.

could I make it said I
all the way to the top?
I see that perfect branch
and I’m hearing it say:

“Dammit! Build your purple chrysalis
with lavender fields!”

Butterfly Emerging from a Chrysalis

P.S. Just FYI, there is no “flim flam man” in my life right now and I’m not feeling gloomy. 😆 :p
I’m just trying to create structure and organize the thoughts running through my head.

About pam

I am retired from real 9 to 5 jobs. I do my artwork and occasionally write poetry. In September 2010, I moved to Fargo, ND after spending 60 years in Phoenix, Arizona. Now, five years later, July 2015, I'm back in Arizona. And yes, I love the heat!
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79 Responses to Where’s my mind been? I don’t know.

  1. Dacotah says:

    Good poems Pam.

  2. ellinidata says:

    first i send you a hug,I am sure the idea of becoming a grandma takes your relaxed self away , and that's OK too! I personally enjoy your visits immensely and often you make me laugh and I simply want to say cheers to your amazing character and golden heart!:up:

  3. BabyJay99 says:

    😀 Great poem Lady Pam :up: and i hope you wud be `better` soon. 😉

  4. ellinidata says:

    PSlovely poems too!

  5. mebemon says:

    I don't know what happened to you, but I hope you well soon Pam.

  6. L2D2 says:

    Not sure what to say here, Pam. That you sound a little scattered and at sea? I did like your poems. Are you one of these people, as I suspect, that get very uncomfortable if things are too rigid and neat?

  7. PainterWoman says:

    Lea: Thanks. Really I'm fine, just being more scatter brained than usual lately. Linda: Hahaha…yeah I'm at sea alright. Actually I'm pretty adaptable in any given situation. And usually very calm. Just sometimes, my thoughts have to be slowed down and that's why I write things down. Kim: Thanks, I am well, just sometimes I take a break from the computer because I have too many things on my mind and I can't think of what to say.Carol: Thank you. I've been writing a lot of them lately and need to back them up. Angeliki: I'm sure part of it is the becoming a grandma part. Just saw some more photos they had taken of the two of them together. I cannot share as I promised not to. They are mainly for her and her husband but when I saw them, I cried…they were so sweet. Oh, and I'm still my relaxed self…just sort of loopy…or in la la land….or something.

  8. Suntana says:

    Ohhhhhhh! So there IS a bug, an insect, a Butterfly in the painting. I hadn't noticed the text below the paint until later. But, in typical fashion with your paintings, Pam, I of course proceeded to try and find hidden images. At first I was uncharacteristically having trouble finding any hidden images. Finally I did see what I thought resembled a giant bug over on the left. Then again, don't even know if that's the butterfly to which you are referring.Then I see what appears to be Ummm, 2 Thongs! And something resembling possibly part of a Mummy.

  9. debplatt says:

    I liked both poems, but especially liked the second with accompanying art work. :up:

  10. PainterWoman says:

    Carlos….two thongs? Hahahaha….I don't see them. You must have your birthday pictures in your head. Don't see the mummy either. But I'll keep looking. The shape on the upper left is a leaf. The butterfly is in the bottom half, it's wings are not fully unfolded; and the chrysalis (mostly white) is in the upper half. This monoprint is a bit dark which was caused by a little too much ink. Deb: Thanks. I would have loved to have photoshopped this monoprint to be purple but don't know how. But then I don't have PS either, just Paint Shop Pro and I don't do much with that either.

  11. PainterWoman says:

    Jill: Amazingly, I've been getting lots of things done, just my head seems to be muddled. Sometimes I just have to sit and write to make sense of all my thoughts. Linda, yep, I think he's still ogling his birthday/valentine beauties.

  12. studio41 says:

    Originally posted by PainterWoman:

    just my head seems to be muddled.

    maybe you are getting excited to be a grandma? that might do it!glad to hear you are getting lots done. you shouldn't let an easel stay dry! too many nice images to come out of it all

  13. PainterWoman says:

    Originally posted by studio41:

    glad to hear you are getting lots done. you shouldn't let an easel stay dry! too many nice images to come out of it all

    It won't stay dry for much longer. Have been going in the studio and just sitting there, picking up the brushes, pondering things. Very soon.

  14. gdare says:

    Pam, I didn`t know you are a poem writer too :left:How long until you are going to be a grandma?

  15. studio41 says:

    wish my studio were put neat as a pin! but I hear ya with "The easel sits the paints dry up and the brushes fall apart." in the music sense of it here- so many things vying for attention and consuming me w/ some upset/frustration… but trying to at the least count blessings."At home in the studio colors fly through the air like a maze in my hair." like this line a lot!

  16. studio41 says:

    Originally posted by PainterWoman:

    Very soon.

    hope you will post for us when complete! or in process… enjoy!

  17. debplatt says:

    Originally posted by PainterWoman:

    Wow! Deb, now there's my purple chrysalis!

    I was thinking to myself, "I wonder what shade of purple Pam was thinking about?" Of course I didn't know…

  18. PainterWoman says:

    Wow! Deb, now there's my purple chrysalis!Darko: Yes, I sometimes write poetry, just not very often.A little over three weeks to go till I'm a grandma.

  19. PainterWoman says:

    Originally posted by debplatt:

    what shade of purple Pam was thinking about?

    Deb, it is amazing how many shades you can get when mixing paint.

  20. L2D2 says:

    Chuck, I do see one thong. The rest is your imagination. Like Pam says, you are still google eyed over your birthday and Valentine geometry.

  21. Unasia says:

    :coffee: :up:

  22. Suntana says:

    Okay, so the Elephant's ears are a bit rough & ragged, but the general LOOK is there.You can also slightly see some of the Mummy's body if you follow the general bandages look down.IS the Giant Bug that I indicated … THE butterfly of which you speak, Pam? Otherwise, I don't know where your butterfly is that's emerging from the Chrysalis.

  23. Suntana says:

    Well, Pam, Peppermint, I can't deny my Valentine's / Birthday Geometry Art Presents are still on my mind. But, maybe that's just the asset / perk that conditions my visualization acuity to a higher Artistic level so as to be able to extract the following hidden images:The Mummy's Head is at the top in Green.The 2 Thongs are in Red.The Giant Bug's Head peeking up is in Blue.The Elephant's Head is in Yellow.The Goose's Head & Neck is in Pink.

  24. PainterWoman says:

    Clance: Thank you. :coffee: :happy: Carlos: Hmmmmmm……all those elements are distinct now. Well, except for the thongs. Maybe I'm refusing to see those. My favorite is the goose and elephant. I have several experimental charcoal works where I used my imagination and found many things in them. Then I began to embellish on what I'd found. A couple of these works are in my art album if you want to see them. I tell no one my process as I never see anything like it anywhere. Most people do not understand when I say, the images were there when I started drawing into it. I think you would.

  25. Suntana says:

    So, where is the butterfly in relation to any of those items I pointed out, Pam? I still can't visualize that one. Unless it's only metaphorical or something and there's no actual butterfly and Chrysalis there.

  26. PainterWoman says:

    Carol, I know, it's on my mind every minute of the day. No, haven't seen the new member yet. Will go check it out now.

  27. Dacotah says:

    Wow, 3 weeks, not long left at all grandma to be. :)Did you see the new member of the week? He's a very talented artist. 🙂

  28. PainterWoman says:

    Where you see the elephant's head is actually the partially unfolded wings of the butterfly. The bug you see is part of the butterfly's head. The chrysalis is what you see as the mummy head. You should be able to see two of the butterfly's legs (in black) hanging onto the chrysalis which is hanging by a thin white thread or string to a branch.

  29. PainterWoman says:

    Yes, I know Pabha (or Jimmy). He's been on my friend list for quite a while. I do like his paintings very much.

  30. CultureSurfer says:

    Great poems, Pam! :up: I love the one about the studio but regarding the first one am unfortunately in the same space-case situation as you. Is it the weather, time of year? What up? :awww:

  31. PainterWoman says:

    Originally posted by CultureSurfer:

    in the same space-case situation as you. Is it the weather, time of year? What up?

    I don't know Naomi. One could say it was the weather because of the transition from winter to spring. But in my area (Phoenix, AZ) there was almost no transition at all so I can't blame the weather. It may be just life going on all around and suddenly there are too many things going on. I remain calm and appear so, but my brain sometimes is going 100 mph. Too bad I can't type faster. I'd be able to get all my thoughts down on paper. 😆 Soon, though, I'll be back to painting and I sometimes paint very fast and furious.

  32. edwardpiercy says:

    Great, Pam! You can't be too scatterbrained if you are working with words and paint!".all those elements are distinct now. Well, except for the thongs."See Angeliki's posts for the distinct thong stuff. :pPS actually WAS going to ask about Flim Flam Man. 😆

  33. L2D2 says:

    Chuck, the thong I saw was on upper left. I see the elephant and goose, but like Pam, those ain't thongs, Sweetie. You are trying too hard. No thongs, Chuck, except the one on left. And what looks like a mummy to you, looks like a dinosaur head to me, or some critter.

  34. PainterWoman says:

    Thanks Ed. Writing my thoughts down really seems to slow down my brain process or, I suppose, helps me focus. Maybe the same as Prozac would …. but that stuff scares me. 😆 Yeah, too bad there's no Flim Flam Man, I might have some exciting stories to tell. The more I look at where Carlos sees the thongs, I do see the one on the right now.

  35. debplatt says:

    Originally posted by Suntana:

    more pushing the envelope Thong

    :eyes: Maybe someone needs to go take a cold shower….

  36. Suntana says:

    It IS too a 2nd Thong, Peppermint! :irked:It's just a slightly narrower one … a more risqué, more pushing the envelope Thong. And it's oriented at a different angle, turned to its left, so it's NOT as obvious as the other one.On that note, I have to go Work Out now.I'll let you know the Audacity status later, Peppermint.

  37. debplatt says:

    @L.D. What a lovely field!Originally posted by Suntana:

    Hey, what can I say? I didn't paint the painting. Don't blame the observer.

    It's kind of like a Rorschach test, so yes, it does tell something about the observer.

  38. edwardpiercy says:

    Pam, I'm still trying to figure out your avatar. So far I've ruled out a fluffy bunny. I hope it's not another thong. :p

  39. PainterWoman says:

    L.D. thank you. A few days of writing my thoughts down and I'll be fine and more organized.Wow! What a beautiful lavender field! Wouldn't that be a beautiful scene from your window….or how about from your front porch? I've only seen fireflies once in my life back in Indiana when I was a child. Deb: Rorschach! That's what I'd been trying to think of and couldn't remember. All I could think of were ink blots but I knew there was a name for it.

  40. NLDH says:

    I think everybody will have a "blank mind" moment like you are facing right now. It will fade-a-way, hopefully SOON :DLove your poems. I like the way you express your feelings in the first one. In the second one, I can image a wonderful lavender field as the photo below. I wish I can add the "fireflies" into it to make the photo more lively like your poem ^^

  41. Suntana says:

    Well, if you rotate the Left Thong counterclockwise approximately 94 degrees, it COULD become a Party Hat. And the Right Thong, depending on your frame of mind … I guess it COULD become a slice of Pizza. Day-Um! Pam's paintings ARE profound!

  42. Suntana says:

    Mmmm Maybe. I mean, well, you know, in the sense that I am almost finished with my Workout and thus need a shower. Hey, what can I say? I didn't paint the painting. Don't blame the observer.

  43. debplatt says:

    Originally posted by PainterWoman:

    I've only seen fireflies once in my life back in Indiana when I was a child.

    Here's the most wonderful firefly experience of my life: my whole family was camping in a tent in a valley surrounded by very tall hills. And of course when you are out in the sticks away from all the urban lights, the nights are really, truly black. Anyway it turns out that all the hills were covered with fireflies. Fireflies were twinkling at us from every angle over the vast expanse of these hills. It was magical.

  44. NLDH says:

    We have a nice weather today. I can't wait for Spring… too tired of the wind, the cold and the snow 🙂 I love gardening.

  45. NLDH says:

    Thanks, Deb :happy: Originally posted by PainterWoman:

    Wouldn't that be a beautiful scene from your window….or how about from your front porch?

    Oh, I wish Pam 😀

  46. debplatt says:

    Originally posted by NLDH:

    Oh, I wish Pam

    Me, too. Besides, I'm tired of all this snow.

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